my contradicting self...

i should stop obssessing about being single.

my parents/family/relatives can't stop, my friends are pushing me (as if its my choice to be single) and people who'm i've only met can't stop themselves from asking me why. ugh! lets all be a bit sensitive here, guys. if i can find reason to singledom, heck, i could've written a thesis about it, yeah? but hey, gimme a break. at least, i'm giving myself a break.

i have learned from a certain person that it could really take a while. some things just have to come first. hey, i am not that old, as memei pointed out a few weeks ago.=p so if its work i should be focusing now, thats where i'll put all my energy into. from a band i am so into now, as they say, strike whilst the iron is hot. work while there is work to do. and anyway, if its gonna happen, its gonna happen... ergo, if Gods will, it will. (i can hear kris aquino say, "may tama ka!" weird...)


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i am a woman possessed. they are as real to me at the sun that rises every morning yet they are a dream that escapes me during the night, in that moment when i am awake yet in a deep slumber.

labo ba?

try being me for an hour, at this moment, baka maintindihan mo.

i have this thing for december affairs. ewan ko ba. well, this time, its a major delusion talaga. but anyhow, i don't mind. it keeps me smiling nowadays, walang nakakasira ng mood ko lately and not only that, it kept, and helped me stop, from thinking about a certain december guy din. woohoo! faboolous! but the thing is, everywhere i look, i see him. i hear him. i sense him. i even smell him for crying out loud! i turn on the tv, i see him. i turn on the radio, i see him. i close my eyes, damn, i see him. i dream about him.

yes, its december yet again. and about to close, i might add. its that time of the year. but he is a figment of my imagination. a mirage in this desert that i am treading. a fallacy of the truth i have been so rightly seeking. a fantasy...

i am stuck in a moment that wasn't meant to last...