If I was to give u my heart I would need yours in its place.


---> the greatest pickup line i've ever heard. shet! love it!

sad meadows...

"Why play nice when being a little wicked is so much fun? "

- that's what my horoscope reads today . and i agree! i have been extra nice to a lot of people lately (though ate thess would think this is highly contradicting). i have set aside my feelings for other people's happiness. but i am not complaining. since i can't be someone i want to be, i might as well be something to someone. its better that being a nobody to that someone. labo ba?

its kinda weird. having thought for a long time that there really is something going on but really, there isn't. everything was just on my mind, in my imagination, in my dreams. in my phone, in my emails, in that empty smint container. i really really thought that he was falling for me. but no. i am just a preliminary exam, that test before the finals. a crash-test dummy.

when he falls and nobody catches him, i am that soft cushion that he will be landing on. i am that girl who will show up in his doorstep and get him drunk after a major heartbreak. yes, i am all that and nothing more.

isang malupet na panakip butas. pampakilig kapag walang iba.

so the question is,

"Why play nice when being a little wicked is so much fun? "

i can actually do something about this recent predicament but i grew tired of it already. i grew tired of fighting for something that only i know and care about. its two months short lang and i'll be thinking of this problem for a year now. yes, but after all that happened, i can't blame him for coming to me. i am such an approachable person kasi. lol. but seriously, he wanted to be friends, i agreed and now i am being treated as a friend. and how could i complain? i usually say, "Don't settle!". but for this, i am eating my own words and i am settling for being a friend.

and you know what, its hurts. in my mind, it hurts so much. but in my heart, i feel nothing. it seems i grew numb of the pain. the blow that it got from all those rollercoaster of emotions that i felt made it so numb, my heart can't even process the hurt that i should be feeling now.

but still, i am grateful for the numbness. it makes being a friend, a whole lot easier.