senti senti senti senti senti PART 2

If I reach for your hand, will you hold it? If I hold out my arms, will you hug me? If I go for you lips, will you kiss me? If I capture your heart, will you love me?

Love does not recognize time. Love is waiting for that special person even if it takes forever.

Once in a lifetime you meet someone that takes your breath away, not because you want them to, but because they were meant to.

I wanna be the girl he looks at from across the room, smiles, and says to his friends, "That's her."

Meeting you was faith, being your friend was by choice, but falling in love with you was out of my hands.

Loving someone doesn't mean you have to be with that someone, because sometimes Fate plays a fool on us and we are not meant to be together. But still, there is love between us.

Heartless I may be, for angels fly free; yet here I hope, to see him fall for me.

One day my Prince Charming will come, he just got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions!

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; But sometimes it is letting go. -Hermann Hesse

It's like a knife through the heart when it all falls apart. It's like someone takes a pin to your balloon. It's hole, it's a cave, it's kinda like a grave, when he tells you that he's found somebody new. Why they call it fallin', now I know.

Don't worry if he catches you looking at him 'cause it only means that he's looking back.

Find the one you can be yourself in front of, you can say anything to, you can laugh, you can smile, you can cry, scream, kiss, and hug. Y'all can fight, make up at the end of the night and he'd still be crazy about you!

You cupped my face with your hands, you gently held me with your eyes; I was lost in a whirlwind of spellbound emotions - and I hadn't received your kiss yet! Forever and exhilarating bliss were captured in that moment, the moment you captured my breath and my heart.

If the one you desire isn't interested, it's their loss. Don't make it yours.

I've fallen for someone, but I don't want to get up!

Sometimes you've gotta break the rules and stand apart, ignore your head and follow your heart.

A good woman inspires a man. A brilliant woman interests him. A beautiful woman fascinates him. But a sympathetic woman gets him.

Find arms that will hold you at your weakest, eyes that will see you at your ugliest, lips that will kiss you in both instances, and a heart that will love you at your worst. Only then will you have found your true love.

I would give all I have for the one thing that cannot be bought.

For every day there must be a night. For every question there must be an answer. For every dream there must be a realization. I pray that you could be the nights for my days, the answer to all of my questions. But most of all I would wish for you to be the realization to all of my dreams

I’ve been alone with you inside my mind, and in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips a thousand times. I sometimes see you pass outside my door. Hello, is it me you’re looking for? I can see it in your eyes; I can see it in your smile. You’re all I’ve ever wanted and my arms are open wide, because you know just what to say, and you know just what to do, and I want to tell you so much - I love you. - Lionel Richie - "Hello"

If nothing happens and you still have no one beside you...
If at night before you sleep,, you feel empty...
If in the morning you wake up and find it hard to find a reason to live another day...
If in the midday, you're stressed at work and needs someone to talk to...
If you get home and find yourself alone and aching...
If you're angry and hurt and wants to hurl your frustrations to someone...
If your question and doubts are left unaswered...
If your heart yearns for something, someone that doesn't yearn for you...
Let me be that person.
Someone who'll stay with you no matter what.
Someone who'll sleep beside you thru the night and still be the same person you wake up to the next day.
Someone who'll check up on you when you get to work, if you've had your lunch or your break.
Someone you'll look forward coming home to.
Someone who will take all your cursings and angst against everyone and no one.
Someone who might not have all the answers but is willing to search for them with you.
Someone who'll put their arms around you and say "Wake up sleepyhead..."
Someone who'll make and drive you mad but still love that she's making and driving you mad.
Someone who'll be your reason for every single thing you'll be doing for the rest of your life.
Someone who'll catch you when you fall and is willing to do it over and over again even if you are not falling for her...
Yes.
I am that and so much more.
But your heart yearns for another heart.
And so I taught my heart to stop yearning for yours.
But...
My heart is stubborn.
My heart has a mind of its own.
My heart is still yours.
But i am learning to let go while still hoping that someday your heart will yearn for mine.
So for now, you rest in the deepest part of my heart.
If one day, you realize your heart should be with mine, it will find what its looking for.
My heart's not that hard to find.
Its just waiting and biding for her time-
Her time to make you realize she is the reason, the life, the other soul that you were looking for, all this time...

senti senti senti senti senti

i'm in senti mode for three days straight, gosh, its highly frustrating! i never knew it could be this hard. last saturday, as i was waiting for a friend, i decided to sit out in the garden outside studio 1. having had dinner a few minutes earlier, i was full and kinda sleepy already. which got me into a senti, dreamy mode... bad idea! to be sitting outside, alone and having a self-pity breakdown. grrr. i thought to myself, "masarap din siguro yung may nayayaya ka pagkatapos mo sa trabaho, magkape or tea, tambay lang. yung thought na may kasama ka kapag wala ka nang ginagawa. yung isang tao na you'd look forward to seeing after a long day from work..." beep. my phone alerted with a text message from my dad, nasa ministop na daw sila. haay, nandito yung sundo ko "kelan kaya ako magkakaroon ng ibang sundo? not that i mind na sinusundo ako ng tatay ko, but sana. . . iba naman..." waaah! got in the car and guess what song's playing??? this song :

Kung Wala Ka

Hale

Natapos na ang lahat
nandito pa rin ako
hetong nakatulala
sa mundo

hindi mo maiisip
hindi mo makikita
ang mga pangarap ko
para sa iyo

oh..
hindi ko maisip
kung wala ka
oh..
sa buhay ko

nariyan ka pa ba
hindi ka na matanaw
kung merong madadaanang
pasulong

sundan mo ang paghimig na lulan
na aking pinagtanto
sundan mo ang paghimig ko

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FOLLOWED BY:


Heaven Knows (This Angel Has Flown)
Orange and Lemons


There are times when I’m lying in my bed
How I bellow and cry from this stupid get
And my eyes are like windshields on a rainy day
Almost rubbed-out, swelling as I keep on
Digging my face in these cold hands of mine
Heaven knows how embittered I am

‘Cause this angel has flown away from me
Leaving me in drunken misery
I should have clipped her wings
And made her mine for all eternity

Now this angel has flown away from me
Thought I had the strength to set her free
I did what I did because I love her so
Will she ever find her way back home to me, ahh

I’m so tired, I feel like catching forty-winks
Being up all night in this elbow-room that puts me in a trance
Where hopes and dreams come true
Now, my lips are burning and my eyes are hurting
From these fumes I make, still I light another cigarette
Just to pass my time, oh, heaven knows how embittered I am

*********************************************************

Sunday: had our sunday session with my kampons. it was fab! i missed them sobra! after surfing through the shows on tv, we resolved to watching on dvd The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Anticipating morbid and graphic visuals, I was kinda holding my breath to see whats gonna happen next. Ha, I was a bit disappointed because it wasnt as scary as i was expecting. but it was good. ang galing umarte nung lead actress. had cza, mei and arlee sleep over our house cause my entire family went to cavite. duh! after watching exorcism, who would want to sleep alone in their house, right? but inspite of having seen that movie and having been able to hang and chat with my friends, why am i still in senti mode come monday morning??? i dunno...

when we ate breakfast earlier, arlee said he's old na coz he's already 23, turning 24 next year. cza then realized we will be turning 23 next year. mei, the youngest in our group, 20 yrs old, immediately pointed this out to me "shocks! leigh,mag 23 kna! mag boyfriend ka na noh! matanda ka na! baka maunahan pa kita ha." uhhh... thanks for rubbing it in mei, friend talaga kita.

kaya't eto, when everyone went home na, me -- back to senti mode. ugh!

its almost 3am and i am a bit tipsy and someone just asked me "can i date you?"... do guys usually ask that? i have been asked with that question for the first time in my entire life.. what do i answer..? i said no..

hell yeah, i did. ewan ko ba. i think i am just scared because i havent been exactly in the dating scene for quite sometime now and i dont really think i am ready at the moment. am i willing to give it a try? i dont really know...

i might. i might not. i may find out in a couple of days though. as for now, i like talking to him. i like having arguments with him. i like the poems he wrote.

hay naku. who knows? who knows? i dont...



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now, i just asked someone... "are you willing to risk it?" and he said," yes, i am. i am willing to risk it all. i've risked it once, i am willing to risk it again." gosh. i wish someone would say those things to me. hehe.

but no. that was my friend talking about some girl he had been courting for almost a year now. yep he's willing to risk it all. so now its all up to this girl. haaay, i hope the girl realizes what she's missing!

and speaking of risks, if ever someone IS willing to risk it all for me, i would have to think if i can do the same for him. kasi i am a bit conscious of my actions now. i not only think once, i think twice and thrice. i've learned my lesson (the freakin hard way) so i am very careful of my actions now. not only for myself but for the entire mankind as well. hehe.

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i hope made sense... wahaha!

creepy! creep! creepy!

its doesn't seem such a big deal now but i hafta get it out of my system. last week, i had been to two of my now most dreaded place in the entire universe : the marikina city jail and the makati regional trial court.

it was soo creepy! tuesday i was at the city jail and the next day, at some judge's court.

the inmates were scary as hell, considering the standby area was right outside the cell of the minor delinquents. even though they were minors, gosh, they would look at you straight in the eye and stare at you like you're some kind of a painting or exhibit. the guards were never lenient though, as some of them did some real serious criminal cases like rape and murder.

the court trial was a one in a million experience though i will not divulge any more information why i was there. scary! it was like in the movies and tv shows! but the language used in the court is english. i wondered why though so i asked our attorney. she said that its much better to use english because its easier to write in steno than in filipino.. aaah! that made a lot of sense. i was silently laughing when some guy introduced himself as the interpreter. i was like, what are we gonna do sign language here?? then, i realized, that was his job. when someone answers in filipino, he translates it in english for the stenographer. that was one trivia for me! hehe. gladly though, we won't be returning to that dreadful place anymore. gosh! it was unbelievable even as the interpreter asked me to raise my right hand and swore me to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the freaking truth! haaay. anu ba yan. soo glad that its over.

********************************************************************

now, i had been wondering for the past few days... what is it with virgins? why does it appeal to guys soo much? i mean, so what if the girl is a virgin, why make such a big fuss over it? yeah yeah, yeah i know... there are a few girls left untouched kasi, is that it? so what? crap, SO WHAT??? di ba. just when a guy is about to turn and walk away, you shout "I'M STILL A VIRGIN!!" he glances backs and runs to you with open arms.

okei, so that's a bit exaggerating but its kinda like that in a way. haaay, guys! men! sometimes you wonder if which head of theirs does the thinking.

mystery you

From time to time I take a fix
of what life has to offer
Sometimes I try to order something
simple yet something
complicated will always arrive.
Life can be boring if we let
life dictate what we should do
Life can always make us
smile of something
we used to cry about.

The chances we take will always
be credited to this life or in another.
Even if we are dreamers in our
own little world still dreams
can give us hope in this
melodramatic arena we
call life.
Life is full of crap no matter
what direction I look
The only thing life gave me
so precious is the mystery
of being with you.


By: Francis ^_^

batangas outing!

i can't wait! i can't sleep! we're going to batangas tomorrow for some "real break" for work! and its the first time i'm going there with talent center people. whooopppeee!!! quality time, yebah! ^_^

madonna and tanya

i saw madonna's documentary earlier in one of the cable movie channels and yes, i am a fan. not because she's a great singer or a great dancer or performer but because she was able to live a life that she wanted and she is still living that kind of life. no matter what it took, she got it. no matter what people said, she did it. and she did some really nasty and provocative stuff in her early days as the material girl. but i guess, when the idea of having that documentary popped into her head, she didn't think that people will see her for who she really is. she's not the vogue girl or the material girl or the girl who sang 'like a virgin', she was a lonely girl. she lost her mom when she was five and though her dad was a loving father, it still wasn't enough to fill the void inside her. she was lonely though she was into the 'now', she was in the moment yet in her fast paced life, she lost the time to reflect and slow down and appreciate everything that was happening to her. she demanded a lot from everyone thats why everyone demanded a lot from her too. it was kinda sad because she IS madonna, the IT girl but it seemed like the success that she had then wasn't enough. heck, i dont know what was missing but if u were to watch that documentary, you would notice that her eyes were sad. her face was smiling but not her eyes.

now i love her for that, because she was bold enough to document her life as she was doing this tour and because she stood up just when everyone was dragging her down. she didn't give in. she wasn't right in her decisions at times but what mattered was it was her own decision, she made it and she didn't back down. she regretted a few i guess but if it was me, i'd be more proud because at least, i am able to look back and say i didn't have any 'what ifs'.

what took me in actually was when madonna visited her mom's tomb. just recently, one of my alaga's mom died. tanya texted me last thursday, saying we've got another angel watching over us. i met her mom once, when i arranged for her a meeting with my boss and it was only then that i learned that tita pinky had cancer and that two months prior to that meeting, her body stopped responding to chemo. i was taken by surprise with tanya's text and i didn't know what to say or do. i then resolved to texting tanya and so she told me that they cremated her mom early that thursday morning according to her mom's wish. and another one of her mom's wishes was to have a big party in honor of her which they will be having on november 9.

i admire tanya's strength from organizing everything and for being there with her mom all the time. even if it meant giving up a day's work just so she could be with her mom. i admire her mom because inspite of everything, she still managed to give everyone a smile upto her death.

and you bet, i will be there on november 9. to be merry and happy and to be able to enjoy life to the fullest. just what tita pinky did til the very last.